Chapter 5 : Verbal messages

Verbal Messages

1. Speech-related gestures are used in parallel with verbal speech; this form of nonverbal communication is used to emphasize the message that is being communicated. Speech-related gestures are intended to provide supplemental information to a verbal message such as pointing to an object of discussion.
2. Principles of verbal messages:

   
   

   
   

   1. Message Meanings Are in People

   2. Messages Are Denotative and Connotative

   3. Meanings Depend on Context/ Abstraction

   4. Messages Vary in Politeness

   5. Messages Vary in Assertiveness

   6. Messages Can Deceive
3. Each of these 10 verbal communication tip is just as important in our
4. personal lives as in our professional lives. By improving your verbal 
5. communication skills you will quickly connect and build rapport, earn 
6. respect, gain influence, and become more likable and accepted.

• Be friendly. People who communicate with a friendly tone and warm smile almost always have the edge. The reason is simple: we are subconsciously drawn to people who are friendly because they make us feel good and bring more enjoyment to our lives.
• Think before you speak. One of my favourite English Proverbs is “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” I find that many people say whatever goes through their minds without putting any thought into what they are saying. As a result they say things that end up reflecting poorly on themselves.
• Be clear. Most of us don’t have the time nor do we want to spend our emotional energy to figure out what someone else is trying to say. People who are indirect in their verbal communication and who tend to hint at things without saying what’s really on their mind are seldom respected. When there is something you want to say, ask yourself, “What is the clearest way I can communicate this point?”
• Don’t talk too much. Last week I met with a personal chef. At first I was impressed with him and considered hiring him for an upcoming event. However, the more he talked the less impressed I became. Very few people like to be around someone who talks too much and dominates the conversation.
• Be your authentic self. Today, (more than anytime during my lifetime), people are turned off by those people who feel the need to put on a show to make their point. Instead, people are attracted to someone who speaks from the heart and is genuine, transparent, and real.
• Practice humility. Humility is having a modest view of one’s own importance. It is one of the most attractive personality traits one can possess and is one of the most significant predictors of someone who is respected. People who speak with humility and genuine respect for others are almost always held in high regard.
• Speak with confidence. You don’t have to sacrifice self-confidence to practice humility. Confidence is a self-assurance arising from an appreciation of one’s true abilities, whereas humility is having a modest opinion of one’s own importance. Speaking with confidence includes the words you choose, the tone of your voice, your eye contact, and body language.
• Focus on your body language. When you are engaged in face-to-face verbal communication, your body language can play as significant of a role in the message you communicate as the words you speak. Your body language communicates respect and interest. It puts real meaning behind your words.
• Be concise. Very few things are more irritating to me than when someone can’t get to the point of what he or she is trying to say. Plan ahead. Constantly ask yourself, “How can I say what needs to be said using the fewest number of words possible while still being courteous and respectful?”
• Learn the art of listening. Being an attentive listener is more important in verbal communication than any words that can come out of your mouth. You must show a sincere interest in what is being said, ask good questions, listen for the message within the message, and avoid interrupting.